Part 2: The New Workplace Equality for Women

Posted on March 11, 2013 by kenetia

Last Monday, we talked about the women in the years before us and how hard they worked for us. These women fought diligently so we could be where we are today and flourish to our fullest and greatest potential. We are doing just that, but there has been a distinct gap between the pay of men and women in the workforce. Why is that gap still a prevalent aspect of today’s workplace society? What can we, as women, do to shrink and ultimately erase the gap?

In 2010, the Department of Labor Bureau of Labor Statistics conducted a survey of 600,000 full-time employees. When the facts came in it turned out that for every $824 a male earned, a woman earned just $669. That’s just 81.1% of the average male income. Ten years earlier, in 2000, women were making 78.2% less than men. Do you feel as if you’re underpaid at your current position? What prevents you from asking for more money?

While the gap in pay and status is staggering, I can’t help but wonder if women are just not informed in regards to what they should be paid? There are plenty of websites like indeed.com, salary.com, and payscale.com that provide us with salary ranges based on city and region. This information is readily available to us, so I’m left to believe our fight for equality could very well be a distraction to the real problem at hand.

The Wall Street Journal asked the question: “Why Are Women-Owned Firms Smaller Than Men-Owned Ones?” The article goes on to describe how female-owned businesses brought in 27% less revenue than male-owned. The answer to this question was, “There are those who will say that these numbers substantiate what they always knew: Women just don’t have what it takes to start and run a substantial, growing business.” Now I have a question. Why is it so often assumed that women don’t have what it takes to run a business? We have what it takes. Why are we holding back? This is our inner-voice keeping us down, and trapping us within our safety zones. We are simply not valuing our time and services at market rates.

I think the real, overbearing issue is dealing with our own internal conversation of unworthiness. Tackle your mean inner voice that has you believing you are not worthy of what you deserve. Below, I have listed a few proven techniques you can use to diminish the negativity of your internal conversation and continue to flourish and progress at work.

First, self-education on topics that you want to be proficient in. Money, finance, statistics, negotiating are all important aspects to be fluent in while at work. Learn and practice these skills with other people in real life and have discussions on a regular basis as to whether or not you are grasping the concepts. If you feel as if you’re underpaid, do the research on your industry and find the pay scale. Know your skill set and what you bring to the table. Work on the skill sets you have weakness in and practice asking for what you want. Demonstrate in concrete terms your value and stand firm on your offer. Understanding all aspects of the issue makes it easier to solve.

Next, meditation is an excellent technique to build confidence and self-awareness of what triggers your inner-negativity. Meditating regularly relieves everyday stresses and allows you to focus on yourself.

Last, journal writing, is a form of therapy that you can use to work out all of your anxiety around asking for more money or your fear for rejection. Just allowing yourself to expel your feelings and seeing them written down will create a new awareness and call to action of how you can overcome them.

In today’s society, it’s important as women to focus on ourselves. The work has been done for the masses of women in previous years, and today is for us. The women before us fought to get us where we are today. We are more than allowed to stand up for ourselves and get what we want while at work. If we all focus on ourselves, the collective whole of women will be making even more strides to full equality.

Money and business are genderless and follow certain rules and laws that if played correctly yield specific results. The best part is that you can play in the game of business and money using your unique differences as a woman. Now more than ever we can also be the creators of a new workplace equality that will result with the kind of acknowledgement, money and positions we most desire without compromising our femininity.

Don’t look for who’s at fault. Instead, focus on what to change within yourself to flourish and excel in your area of expertise. Join us on Thursday, March 21, 2013 at 7pm on Google+ Hangout, sign-up here. In the Hangout, there will be a panel of professional experts offering their advice to any inquiries you may have in regards to your time at work. You will leave with a better understanding of how you can be the best version of yourself and succeed while doing so.

Mid-Week Meditation

Posted on February 27, 2013 by kenetia

Meditation is one of the most beneficial and healthy habits. With all that we have going on in our lives, it can be a difficult habit to maintain and keep up with everyday. First of all, what is meditation? To meditate means to purposely engage in “thought” or “contemplation,” it means to think, especially in a calm and purposeful way. Meditating allows you to calm your mind and forget about the stresses from your day and focus solely on yourself. Here are a few quick meditation tips that will help you find time and meditate everyday.

Finding time: This could possibly be the most difficult part of meditation, finding time to do it. During your busy weekly routine, it’s not ideal to try to fit it in the middle of your day. Instead, do it before bed; and just modify your existing pre-sleep routine a little bit to accommodate meditation. The minutes before we fall asleep are almost meditational as it is, so this is the perfect time. Calming your mind and thoughts right before bed will most likely result in a wonderful night’s sleep!

First, it’s recommended to do some light stretches prior to meditation, so while washing your face or brushing your teeth, just stretch some of your muscles. Maybe bend and touch your toes, roll your neck, stand on your toes. The purpose of stretching is so you can remain in one position for an extended amount of time more comfortably. Also, put your cell phone on silent, so it won’t distract you!

Next, find a comfortable spot to sit, either on the floor or in your favorite, sturdy chair. Sit with your spine straight and your shoulders back. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Feel the air enter through your nose, feel it fill up your lungs, and feel it as it exits your mouth. Focusing just on your breathing is a great way to start to clear your mind. Once you feel your mind calming, focus on your body parts, start with your toes and move up your body, including your organs.

Focusing on your body is another way to further calm your mind from all of the outside stressors in your life. You should meditate for about 30 minutes, or until you feel your sense of meditation to dim. If you had your eyes closed, this is the time to open your eyes and reflect for 2-3 minutes on your time meditating.

My book, Fearless Beauty, has even more information about meditating and how to apply it to different aspects of your life. Setting aside just 30 minutes a day to wind down and calm yourself can have amazing affects in your personal, professional and love life.

How to Quiet Your Inner Critic

Posted on June 14, 2012 by kenetia

Before I learned to meditate, my mind would always be racing, thinking, wondering, figuring out ways to get over some sort of anxiety I had. My feelings and thoughts about myself would range from am I good enough, pretty enough, do I know enough, will I look like a fool or am I capable of achieving my dreams — like writing a book or becoming a public speaker. All things I know many women worry about given the hundreds conversations I have had with women sitting in my makeup chair over the years. These self-defeating conversations are rampant in women’s minds regardless of her physical beauty, talents or intelligence.

My first introduction to meditation was about six years ago on a retreat I attended in Carlsbad, CA. I sought out this retreat after a series of unfortunate events being hospitalized, losing my only source of income and my recent separation from my husband of seven years. Between all of this and my constant self battery I lost all confidence in myself. The retreat was temporary, but the gift of learning to meditate continues to build my self-esteem.

In my first lesson of meditation, I felt quite silly, sitting in a circle with a group of people, doing absolutely nothing; my mind raced about 1,000 miles a minute. Every few minutes, I would open my eyes, peek at the other people and wonder if they were looking at me, too! After a few days of meditation, my mind chatter slowed down and I started to enjoy myself. By the time I left the retreat, I was determined to make meditation part of my daily life. Something that I strongly recommend any one do that wants to feel more confident in their own skin.

The effects of meditation on your body, mind and spirit are expansive, so much so that there are whole sections in bookstores dedicated to this subject. Of all the information that I’ve read and studied, my own experience with the practice has been my greatest teacher. I’ve learned to accept my imperfect perfections, forgive myself and others and, best of all, love the little girl within me and the woman whom she continues to become.

Meditation won’t make your nose smaller or your lips more pouty—at least I don’t think it will!—but it has a real impact on the way you feel about yourself. Regular meditation leads to calmness, inner peace and lower stress levels. If you are curious about meditation and want to explore it for yourself download my FREE 30-Minute guided meditation and I’ll continue to send you tips on cultivating a beauty ritual that helps not only look good, but feel good too.

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