Remember when you first learned how to drive? In the beginning it was necessary to keep checking all the gauges, hands in the 10 and 2 position; every line in the road was carefully observed, and it was an activity that took focused effort and energy. After a few years your confidence grew and you started driving with one hand, gauging whether or not you could turn a block before you reached the corner, and some days you don’t even remember how you got from point A to point B. The more you practiced, the more your confidence grew. Expanding your confidence in yourself is no different, except no one ever stays the same. So it is necessary to continue to be in a state of learning when it comes growing your confidence.
1. Find what you LOVE about you and Forgive the rest! Every month or quarter make a list of 10 or 20 things that make you smile about yourself and that you truly love. Is it your nose, your eyes, your smile, the way your hips curve, your ability to stay grounded in the midst of chaos? Since we are in an age where we are constantly checking our phones, use it to remind yourself of how fabulous you are. Randomly set reminders on your phone to chime throughout your day or week. One of my favorite reminders is set every Tuesday just after my weekly meeting with my advisors, “I am wicked creative and surround myself with the best.” This way no matter how much I may have heard about something I’ve done wrong or that I need to take a different direction, when I read that reminder, I smile every time.
2. Appreciate yourself regularly. Throughout your day give yourself some love by telling yourself you appreciate what you love about you. When you hear that little voice in your head going off on you or telling you all the things that aren’t right about you, breathe deep. Take about three to four slow, deep breaths to claim yourself and bring your attention to what you love most about yourself. When we give our attention to what we appreciate, those things we don’t will simply fall away.
3. Double-dog dare yourself. Do something that is beyond your comfort level every week. Some people suggest every day, but I’ve found that every day doesn’t feel realistic. I’ve created a bucket list where I’ve listed all the things that I want to do before I hit the dirt, and once a week I make sure that I’ve done something to get me closer to either having that experience or making it a reality. Sometimes it requires that I make calls that scare me half to death or going on a hike that is beyond what I know I can do.
4. Only compare objects to each other, not yourself. Never look outside of yourself to determine whether or not you are good enough or worthy of where you are or where you want to be. There will always be someone out there that will be farther along than we are, taller, skinnier, or even smarter. What you don’t know about is all the things that they may have had to endure to create their persona, and it’s likely that you would not want to be in their shoes if you really knew. The goal is self-mastery, and comparing yourself to others will not offer you any valuable insight on what you need to strengthen in yourself.
5. Create a daily practice for yourself that will build your physical body. When you can feel your body getting stronger, whether it is in flexibility, muscle, or agility, you gain confidence in your body. Small progress over time builds body confidence. You don’t need to go out and run a marathon, but if you were to start walking every day for five minutes a day and then increase that to 10 without breaking a sweat, you begin to trust your body and its ability to do more.